| Karen & Andy |
| Location: MA, USA Years Married: 12 years Children: 1 boy, 1 girl Biggest Challenges: Unmet Emotional Needs Sponsor Status: In need of a sponsor |
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Click here to see their full story. Click here to become the sole Sponsor of Karen and Andy Or....
I am a 35 year old wife and Mother of 2 great kids. My husband is 34 and we've been married for 12 years. Our marriage started out rocky, my husband was in the navy when we married and I moved with him across the country away from my family and friends. This was very difficult for me and I suffered a bought of depression because he was in the Navy. He was out to sea a good deal of time, and I was left alone. After a few months of laying in bed crying, I told myself to get up and get a life, and I did - I am a very determined person when I get the mind to be. Having children was very difficult for us. My children were conceived by IVF after many failed attempts. I felt for the most part that I went through most of the ups and downs of that process both times by myself. I know that my husband wanted children but he did not seem as emotionally involved in the process as I was. Let me just say that he is a great Dad! I would never say differently on that. In June, my husband announced that he wants out of our 12 year marriage (we have been together 15 years). This was a shock to me. I had no idea it was coming. He says he has been unhappy for a very long time. I didn't realize. I knew we had some problems, but didn't know it was that bad. He has recently started working out and lost 50+ lbs. He is going to be starting a new job soon which I think good thing, because he has always been unhappy in his current job as a truck driver. He told the kids he was moving out for awhile. This conversation took him less than 30 minutes and then he left, leaving me with 2 devastated, confused children. He came home 3 days later saying he would try to work things out. That lasted 2 weeks. Then he was back to talking to other women online, which has now escalated into him speaking with them over the phone. Now he is having an emotional affair with a woman from Pennsylvania who supposedly has cancer. How do I fight against a fantasy woman who is sick and needy!? He now is living on the couch in the basement and says there is nothing I can do. He wants a divorce, but he doesn't plan to leave until after the 1st of the year. I truely believe we could work through our problems, come out of this with a stronger marriage, and not have to hurt our children. I honestly feel like divorce would be the easy way out, and I love my family too much to let that happen (my husband included). This just isn't right, and I'm very sad, angry and confused, I really need some help. |
Click here to see their full story. We met in 1991 when we were at the young ages of 19 and 21. We always talked about how our meeting was "meant to be" because of all of the stars that had to line up in order for us to meet. We dated for a short time before quickly cohabitating for 5 years before we were married in 1996. During those 5 years of living together, we both felt like we had a normal relationship with its typical ups and downs. Yet we always felt secure knowing we were in this for the long haul. However, after we started having children, the demands and challenges we were faced with started to put a great strain on our marriage. We started to withdrawal from each other and began to put the needs of others ahead of our marriage. For many years it seemed that our marriage was a roller coaster with many ups and downs. Unfortunately anger and resentment became a common occurence in our relationship and we always seemed to stuff our problems under the rug. By the time we recognized our relationship was in serious trouble, it was too late. He was done and he wanted out! My husband packed up, moved out and began another relationship. About 6 months after the separation we began to realize what mistakes we had both made and what was most important in our lives. We both felt we needed to look at what we could do to rebuild our marriage and keep our family together. We do not know how to do this because we feel we're trapped in our old patterns of resentment and anger. So here we are 16 years later with four beautiful children and a marriage in serious crisis. We are desperately in need of some help to rebuild our marriage for ourselves and our children. We are really hoping that Marriage Lifeline will help us change old patterns and help us find our love, friendship and commitment to each other that we still know is there but was lost along the way. We are both very motivated and we want to start over and learn information with some new tools so we can save our marriage.
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Click here to see their full story. My husband and I were married just 10 months ago. We both believed that we had finally found the one that we had been searching for. We both knew early on in our dating relationship that we wanted to start our married life together right away. Once we were into our short married life we both began to question each other. With both of us being insecure from past hurts and experiences, I had trouble trusting and my husband had trouble feeling accepted and trusted. Both of us ended up allowing our biggest weaknesses to consume our daily lives together with arguments or just no communication. This left too much room for assumptions. My husband walked out one day 7 months into our "Wedded Bliss". I didn't hear from him for 4 months. With his 2 daughters & my 3 daughters of course this left us all devastated with no explanation. We were a very happy blended family one day, and then it just ended abruptly. There were some questions about my husband and he just didn't want to face any of it and thought it would be easier to just make it all disappear by walking away completely. I filed legal separation due to my financial devastation and it took weeks and weeks to get him served. Finally the day he was served, he decided to meet with me to tell me he didn't want us to end and he was willing to do whatever it took to make it work. That was 2 weeks ago. Now we both realize our insecurities were the reason we didn't trust each other and that no matter how bad it gets, leaving is not an option. I believe we were brought back together to get a second chance to make things right and stay together. I think the Marriage Lifeline can help with the tools we need to get there. Thank you, Joe & Suzan |
Click here to see their full story. We have been separated since June and really want to work things out. We have been getting Larry Bilotta’s newsletters and have learned so much just from them. Our two children are Keaton 11.5 and Savannah 6. Keaton is my son (Shayna) from a previous relationship. Savannah we had in December of 2000. We were married in Feb of 2000. When Savannah turned one, Peter started to pick on Keaton even as Savannah could do no wrong. I acted passive and held this in. I didn't know how to express my feelings and soon it made me depressed and bitter. I cut off from my husband. Neither of us were taught what a healthy relationship should look like. Peter came from an abusive home and I came from a single Mother who married several times. We came from two different worlds and didn't know how to connect. My anger grew and we did not connect emotionally or physically AT ALL. My husband had met some Christian Men that began to guide him. They were teaching him what it meant to be a Godly husband. I too was continuing to work on myself and get the help for the children that they needed. Then a couple we know went through the Marriage Lifeline. From their recommendation I have been receiving Larry's newsletters to read over and over. I made a notebook of his articles. I have been sharing them with Peter as well. We started spending more time together after Peter realized how bad his anger was. He also dealt with his depression and got medication. I am Bipolar and that was very difficult on our relationship which resulted in hospital care which put a lot of stress on all of us. Even though we still live apart we want to work things out for ourselves and the children. We have seen the adverse affects on them already. Being separated was necessary for us to see how bad things were. We feel the Marriage Lifeline will give us the tools we need. Thank you for considering us for sponsoring. We are committed and will follow the program as directed! |
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We're both adult children of alcoholics from neglected families. We became each others' encouragers. On our first date, Peter pulled the car over to the side and said we should pray. That's when I said "I do." Even though our families were small, our wedding filled the church to the brim with those who really knew our hearts, from Alcoholics Anonymous and Alanon. We've been very involved in the mission: speakers at meetings, retreats, leading the couples in recovery groups and sponsoring others. Both of us had critical mothers and rage-filled, sick fathers who abused us. We were the son and daughter trying so hard but felt we could never earn their love. We became each others only family, trying to make up for our past with money, resources, energy and time. Somewhere in all of that we became tired, bitter, and resentful and separated several times. We've fallen deep in debt. Our work life has been affected, and our children don't know what to hope for. Each time I went running back. My loneliness was unbearable - I had lost my best friend. Peter is younger than me by eight years. It didn't seem like much back then, but now, I seem to be moving slower, closer to retiring. We have three grandchildren who need their grandma and grandpa, the ones who were there when they were born. It was our own Grandmothers' who saved our lives, and I know they'd be telling us to do the same. |
| Click here to see their full story. My wife and I have been separated for 8 months. She left me after I had a fight with my 30 year old son because she was afraid of my anger issues and the possibility of her and her daughter getting hurt. The Lord used this situation to draw me back to him because I was not living the way He wanted me to. I sought help through professional counseling and anger management through my church and dealt with many of the fears and unforgiveness that were causing my anger toward my son. Today I feel my life has been transformed through this dark time into a living testimony of what God can do in a persons life if they are willing to turn away from the life they were leading and accept Gods grace and love and transforming power for their lives. My wife is still afraid of me. She had filed for divorce before Christmas last year and had decided to sever this relationship because she considered it beyond repair. A few weeks ago she said the Lord told her to pray for the restoration of her marriage. She had never thought of doing that in the last 7 months. She said she looked up the word restore and found it to mean something more than she thought. It is to repair something to a state better than it was when it was new. She found this encouraging. I know that after talking to my wife's former boss, her testimony has convinced me that this Sponsored program will bring us to a place where we can see this marriage for the potential it really has. She has gone through this program and is paying it forward by not only helping pay for others but by becoming a Marriage Translator herself who can help couples with this program. That made up my mind. This is the program I believe will help us come back together. Thank you for considering the possibility of sponsoring us. |
Click here to see their full story. We have been married for one year now. We have a four month old son. We were high school sweethearts for three years. After high school we went our separate ways. I ran into her parents one day which led to us getting back together. We picked up right where we left off. It was fairytale-like to us. We both decided to get married and begin our lives together.Of course we thought that it was going to be perfect. We were on the same track about everything. It didn't take us long to figure out that we were 2 totally different people. We could not agree on anything.Our inability to communicate right after we got married began to go straight down hill from there.It even got to point of not even speaking to one another. I couldn't believe that this was happeing. My fairytale had become a horror movie. It got to the point of Diane filing for divorce just to stop the pain. Then I found out about the Marriage Lifeline and I believe it’s just what we need right now. I know my wife and I can get through this. We have overcome many obstacles and I know she has an awesome heart. I have just had trouble finding it. I don't want to go a day without seeing Diane and my son.I believe God lead me to the Marriage Lifeline and God will also help us find a sponsor.I am an enlisted man in the military where money is a real issue.I pray that you will consider heiping us. Thank you very much. God bless you. |
| Click here to see their full story. We were 19 and 21 years old when we were married 12 years ago. Looking back we were optimistic that marriage was for us. We had a modest wedding that, in retrospect, presented an illustration of the inadequate relational tools and experience that we had in our possession when we embarked on this journey. The honeymoon season didnt occur. As young, well intentioned Christians, we immediately encountered the frustration of each of our unanticipated and consequently unmet expectations. Our differences were quickly translated into opposition, rejection, hurt, and within a couple of weeks we were both considering whether it was a mistake to have married. It was a miserable first year and the years since have been a slow up and downhill climb. When we fight we take no prisoners. Both of us are in it for the win as if our self-respect, pride, or character is on the line...not recognizing that the irrational yelling match will not result in any winners (including our children who observe the proceedings). Although an eruption like this may only occur every few months, the damage is done. Our verbal wounds have been inflicted, trust has been torn. While frustration subsides and apologies exchanged, our intimacy and the uncertainty of how to improve remain floundering. We are excited to take this Marriage Lifeline Communication program together. We need the understanding of ourselves and each other that weve heard that this program offers. Our children need us to demonstrate a marriage & family environment grounded in intimacy, safety, trust, and fun. We see glimpses of the potential in each other, but realizing that potential is another thing. For whatever reason, God has placed us together. We need hope for the futur |
My husband's job was many hours away from where we lived.He would come home on weekends to be with his two kids from his former marriage and my three kids from my former marriage as well as our own 13 month old daughter.It was very stressful for me to be without my husband for such long periods of time.I became a shrew and caused fights. I felt left out and ignored so we fought long and often for the little time we were able to spend together. To make things worse, his children made claims that I abused them so my husband took his kids and left me and my children and our baby. Then all hell broke lose when his kids went to visit their biological mother.She got them to make claims of abuse and neglect. We went to court, it was a terrible mess. I never harmed them in any way. His children are a product of the Social Services system and need a great deal of therapy. I was so afraid that his x-wife’s claim could allow the government to take away my kids and our baby. I was upset that these children and their mother dared call my ex-husband (father of my three children) and made claims of abuse. During this turmoil, I made an inappropriate statement about his son that he will NEVER forgive me for. Then, suddenly my husband announced to me that we were moving to Sacramento immediately.When we arrived in Sacramento, we found out that it was going to cost us $2,500 for our attorney to represent us the next day in an emergency hearing! I got our kids together and told them we ALL had to go to court the next day even though ONLY my stepson made the claims of abuse. I told them we were all lucky that Social Services didn't come and take all of our children because of this mess. Court lasted all day and we were all questioned...again and again and again. The special processor came to the conclusion that there was NO merit to the claims and couldn't answer why my stepson made this claim then retracted that day. My husband retained custody of his kids and made arrangements for mediation. My husband’s x-wife left the court and glared at me in a way that made my blood run cold. I asked my husband if he had seen that. He got VERY upset with me and told me to stop acting up in court. Later that week, I kept trying to call my husband but he would not answer his phone.He would tell me he would call me back but wouldn't. When we were dating, we talked on the phone all the time. Now I couldn’t get him to call me back for days.Finally I got very upset and left him an angry voicemail. I asked him why he was moving me to? What are you doing all the time? Why do you talk to everybody else BUT me? He got so upset, he called our cell phone provider and canceled our online account so I couldn't look at our bills, then password protected it! I got extremely upset and called again. The next day, he came home late with moving boxes and said "Have you ever loved somebody but it just wasn't enough?"He then told me we WEREN'T separating/divorcing...BUT, his kids were going to move in with their aunt and WE would have to find our own place to live.My husband gave me a long list of my offenses: I called his son names, used curse words, hit his son on several occasions, his children were scared to death of me, I lied to him about being somewhere I wasn't, I embarrassed him by my cursing, I was jealous, hated his friends, hated his job, had no friends and couldn't get along with people. He said I had anger problems but for some unknown reason, he still loved me. He left the next day, took his son, packed all his things and told me he would see me the following week. A few days later, he told me he would love me forever but I had to let him go. We couldn't work on our problems...he saw no way out, he was sorry for what was happening to us, etc. That was August 14th. I packed my house, moved to Sacramento and lived there for six unhappy weeks. Two weeks ago he came to help me move. He helped me move a few big things and stayed the night with us.That night I told him something that upset him and he responded by telling me I was trying to trap him. I calmed him down and told him how much I and the kids miss him. I asked him why I am the only one who misses him or the kids? He said he missed me all the time, but then got worked up again and demanded that no matter how much he wanted to be here, if I didn't leave him alone he would leave. Now my husband rarely comes to visit our 13 month old daughter. Our communication has dwindled to nothing. I am trying to not cry or to think.What else can I do? I am lonely, sad, desperate. I feel like a failure and worse I wonder if he ISN'T right about me? To my shock, two months AFTER this whole court thing, his x-wife begins calling my cell phone NON-STOP. She finally left me a five minute message about how I needed to go to Jesus and ask forgiveness of my sins and how she hoped I burned in Hell. But she would pray for my soul. I just need to find hope...hope for me...my husband is determined to divorce. My husband has completely shut me out, mentally, emotionally and physically. I now live four hours away from him and he doesn't call to even check on our baby. HIS DECISION has been made. I just want to try...anything. I know that while things have gone so wrong, they could become right. But how do I do that on my own? Tell me please! Well, that's my story Larry.I hope you can find me a sponsor for the Marriage Lifeline. I need this like no other! |
My husband and I were high school sweethearts and have been together over 20 years. We married 12-1/2 years ago and started our family. We had moved away from our families and my husband began his career. He has deadlines that require long hours and a couple of months a year in which he works 7 days a week. His work has taken its toll on us. Our 3 beautiful children have kept us busy and we have not taken time away together as a couple in 12 years.Not one babysitter to go out for an evening and only two very short vacations over those years.No wonder this marriage is in trouble, we seem to be all work and no play! We tend to only talk about the kids and the house and the mundane details even as we remove the fun and enthusiasm we used to have. My husband and I have become complacent in our marriage.He now told me he has fallen out of love with me. I am not getting my emotional needs met. I know he hasn't gotten his sexual needs met. Needless to say, he moved out last month claiming that we are incompatible. He wants a divorce. He claims he has been unhappy for a long time. Last year we did participate in two marriage counseling sessions (1/2 hr ea) which were of no help at all. They seemed to set us up to fight with each other and never resolve anything. I left so much more upset than before I went in. Since that wasn't helpful my husband wanted me to seek counseling on my own, which did help me greatly, but it didn't help our marriage. I know we have so much love left but it has been buried under a lot of other emotions which are causing us to feel like we are sinking. I believe we owe our children our best effort to build better communication skills because we will be parents together forever! I would love to show my children how their parents were able to overcome their challenges and fight for our marriage and our family.I believe the sincerity in the comments I have read here and that this Sponsored program could be what takes us out of our sinking state to save this marriage. |
